Dr. Pepper more like Dr. Dickface
Dr. Pepper has a new soda out. Dr. Pepper 10. The slogan, “It's not for women.” You know what else isn't for women, dumb ad execs who think they will make them money by insulting more than half the population. I don't know if you've seen the ads, but basically it's the GI Joe that is driving around fighting villians in a jeep and being superhero cool while he drinks DP 10. You know what else would be superhero cool? A soda called, Pepsi Infinity, “For people infinitely smarter than Dr. pepper drinkers.” I mean this is unbelievable to me. I just stood in 7-eleven watching the TV screen with my mouth open, like “Are you fucking kidding me DP?”
A lot of bad things went down in Waco, but being the birthplace of DR. Pepper has now moved to the top.
I love that this idea had to come from somewhere, like a bunch of dude Ad execs are out to lunch...
Male Exec 1: I'll have a diet soda.
Male Exec 2: What are you GAY?
Male Exec 1 thinks to himself: I will NEVER be made to feel this way again. Rather than telling that guy to shove him homophobia up his ass, I WILL invent a new diet soda, that is so manly even women won't drink it. (Slams diet soda and exits.)
Dr. Pepper I have one question for you. Why did you just take a poop on my face?
2/16/2012 05:17:33 pm
HA. As a guy, I had a similar reaction. I just felt swell about my newfangled 1950's sensibilities. Plus I came away with a deeper understanding of my underlying maleness. It was with these deep revelations, that I was able to overlook the blatant "Catchphrase" gag rip-off of BriTANick. Well, I can't continue talking about this, I've got lasers to shoot and snakes to punch.
2/17/2012 01:20:09 am
4/4/2012 11:28:33 am
I felt bad because you couldn't experience all 23 flavors in only ten calories, so I made you a man disguise. Copy this as best you can, and you should be able to sneak past the store's sophisticated cootie-detection system without a hitch: http://postimage.org/image/6d65pv857/
4/6/2012 03:37:33 am
3/14/2021 08:05:48 am
Great blog thanks for posting this
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Gillian Bellinger is an LA based comic rockin' it in the free world.